The Ugly American Visits Canada

Toronto is like New York if you slathered PBS all over it. It was my first trip to Canada, although I already had an inkling of Deep North culture through my many Canadian friends and accomplices. Nonetheless, despite all the Canucks I’ve befriended or captured whilst backpacking, it was nice to visit our neighbors in order to observe Canadian culture and vulnerabilities first-hand.

It won’t surprise you to learn that Canadians are a calm, polite people. They are friendly and gracious, with tidy cities and an auspicious lack of gunshot wounds. Canada is “bilingual,” which means they accommodate French speakers while full knowing that we won the Battle of Trafalgar.

They do, like much of the international community, come to the table with a fairly low perception of American global aptitude. It is tempting to try and impress them by regurgitating news from The Economist or rattling off exotic countries you’ve heard of.

The other option is to identify the Ugly American stereotype and do it to the hilt. It’s actually pretty amazing just how far you can push the charade if you put your mind to it:

Make irritating observations and assumptions.

Feign total ignorance that Canadian money is different from American money.

Be kind, but supremely patronizing.

Be a proactive, helpful visitor.