Live From The Hurricane

If you live in New York chances are good that my mother has already contacted you about the swirling Ragnarok of death which is Hurricane Sandy. If you haven’t heard from her yet, you may have noticed the subways shutting down.

The storm presently racking New York City is “a gaping maw of death created by a nor’easter broadsiding Hurricane Sandy like a drunk driver in a van” in scientific parlance. (Actual press release from the National Weather Thingy.) Miraculously, I remain safe and dry. Others are not so lucky, and we should keep them in our thoughts.

Yesterday relatives called me to note that a giant tidal wave was about to crash into New York and so I would probably die but if not they’d see me at Christmas. Transportation shut down. As in all national events, people stocked up on toilet paper and milk for some reason. Oklahomans are by nature blasé about the weather, as by the time we hit twenty we’ve slept through multiple cyclones and deadly wind funnels. I have taken precautions which I believe will theoretically keep me warm and well-fed for a minimum of three days, but did so without a modicum of panic.

First, I absconded from the hostel and left strict orders regarding my bunk in the event of flooding.

I made sure to charge my phone, Kindle and laptop so that if the electricity grid flickers off I won’t get bored. Then I made a map of all the locations nearest me that I would like to rob in the event of looting.

I took one of the last trains to a safe, third-story location in Manhattan and then bought some non-perishable groceries. Folks had already raided all available bottled spring water, but stupidly left whole walls of tonic water, which tastes better because of delicious quinine (and allegedly staves off malaria).

Just now I’m told that subways have flooded, southern Manhattan is without power, a building has collapsed, and the combination of 90 mph winds and torrential downpour have actually managed to clean large swaths of New York. Other people have been impacted, some have quite sadly lost homes or lives.

Hopefully that kitten at the hostel is okay.