French Statue Gets Removable Wiener to Fight Thieves

A couple of weeks ago I made some disparaging comments about the French work ethic, which I must now absolutely backtrack on. Because France has become the world leader in detachable statue penises, in their Fight Against Statue Penis Thieves. A horrible phenomenon limited almost entirely to countries who have built escape tunnels to England. It seems in the seaside town of Arachon, vandals keep stealing the statue of Heracle’s manhood. The mayor (and I’m not making this up) said, “I wouldn’t want anyone – not even my worst enemies – to go through what happens to this statue.” The solution: a detachable stone phallus which the French can trot out for special occasions. For example, when the town goes a month without some industry going on strike, or to mark one of their sixty-eight federal holidays.

I like to think that the mayor has a special safe in his office which holds the Prong of Heracles, and that he has a special letter in his desk to be given to his successor in the event of untimely death.

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