Italy’s Supreme Court Rules Public Masturbation is Not a Crime

The headline pretty much sums up this story. It’s not surprising that Italy already had public decency laws on the books—most countries have laws designed to protect children from perverts. And herein lies the law: La Corte di Cassazione ruled that pleasuring oneself in public is fine, so long as there are no minors present. I would really like to read the closing statement of the defense attorney who participated in this trial. I’m picturing a Mediterranean version of Matlock, wielding a staggering amount of euphemisms.

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